The Flying Dutchman
You know, I was perfectly mollified a few days ago. Sorry dude if you are the hero of this post and I am writing about you.
This Dutch air steward found me on a social networking website and we struck up an email conversation, exchanging emails to and fro about once a week. Nothing pushy, very friendly, non-sleazy and in fact, it was a very comfortable sort of information exchange. I love travelling, like you guys didn't know that. And he travels all the time so naturally we hit it off. I was the curious student and he, the master of all places unknown to my ignorant soul.
I always knew that there is a possibility of him coming to Singapore. Hell, he said it himself! He flies! He is an air steward! He can go anywhere the plane can go!
But yesterday, I opened up my mailbox, found a new email from him and read his mail. He went about the usual cheerful banter, the this and the that and I was in a joyous mood, reading on and on till the next paragraph began with ...
Because I've got some great news: I'll be coming to Singapore in 2 weeks.
What?! And suddenly, I got all nervous like a little school girl and I am a grown woman of a (reasonably) ripe age for Christ's sake! Then I had these fleeting thoughts in absolute no order.
What am I going to wear?
What are we going to do?
I wonder if he likes the colour purple.
This is too soon.
I wonder if he is a player.
You know, I am not in love with the guy for sure although he provides great email company. The jitters I attribute it to self-imposed celibacy and the lack of dating for the last year or so and my (flirting) skills have all gone to rust. I am so used to being myself (because it's tiring being otherwise) - straight-forward, boisterous when the occasion calls for it and my conversation, more often than not, hinges on a certain latitude of vulgarity. I certainly don't need to impress but I don't want to be thought negatively either. It was bothering so much that I decided to take the escapist route out - cast it out of my mind till .. I care to mull over the reality again which is in fact now since I am blogging about it.
It is a wonder what a movie can do to relax the mind. I watched Julie and Julia
and felt inspired to be whole again. I shall not fear. Julie succeeded in butchering the crustacean.
I will confront my demons of self-doubt and be myself. The Dutch and I are going to have an awesome night of wine debauchery with Lord Alfred Tennyson's blessings.
You'll have no scandal while you dine,
But honest talk and wholesome wine ...
I better end off before my weakly constructed wall of false bravado collapses right before my eyes and I embarrass myself in front of you my dear readers.
Labels: Dating, Relationship, Singlehood